Hey, popping in quickly to check: Am I good to post Bitterdin after I incorporate your edits, or did you want more time/have more to say? I'm honestly not certain what the normal process is for betaing, since this whole "writing on the internet in a community" is new and strange (and fun.)
Also, you are absolutely right on 1) establishing an age for Dor and 2) letting people know what nibnails are made of beyond "not metal, apparently," but if it's okay with you, I might save that for another piece? 1) because it's a bit tricky to have Dor considering her own age in this particular situation, and 2) is supposed to be in-story something she'd notice in passing, and meta-story to establish that nibnails are things inklings have, and they aren't metal, though you're not supposed to know why yet. I don't want you to think I'm ignoring problems you were kind enough to point out! If these are issues you think'll be too confusing for people reading, please let me know, and I'll fix them for real instead of giving you long-winded excuses. (Bitterdin gets his verbosity from somewhere.)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-09-19 11:22 pm (UTC)Also, you are absolutely right on 1) establishing an age for Dor and 2) letting people know what nibnails are made of beyond "not metal, apparently," but if it's okay with you, I might save that for another piece? 1) because it's a bit tricky to have Dor considering her own age in this particular situation, and 2) is supposed to be in-story something she'd notice in passing, and meta-story to establish that nibnails are things inklings have, and they aren't metal, though you're not supposed to know why yet. I don't want you to think I'm ignoring problems you were kind enough to point out! If these are issues you think'll be too confusing for people reading, please let me know, and I'll fix them for real instead of giving you long-winded excuses. (Bitterdin gets his verbosity from somewhere.)